June 27, 2014

This is a report from the Chickmo inmate detention center.

As I was making my morning rounds it was immediately evident that Reggie, the ring leader, was not in her cell! The door to her cell had been pried open and she slipped out. I found her but she was trying to act all cool, as though her behavior was normal. I walked up to her, cuffed her and returned her to her cell. All the while she was trying to bite me! She was kicking me with her long legs and feet! She was squawking so loud that I couldn't hear what the other hens were saying. Once back in her cell I temporarily fixed it so that she would not be able to escape again, until the head warden can permanently repair the door.

At this point I hear Sister Spotty... she is being very loud and appears to be distressed. After I returned  Reggie to her cell I went to see what Sister Spotty was up to... she was waiting in the getting away truck! She had commandeered the chicken feed delivery truck! I saw the poor driver with his wings all bound up! The back of the truck was open and ready for the inmates, they would just hop in. As I approached the truck she said a few words that I am sure would get her excommunicated! Then she raised her talon and well shot me the bird!

I decided it would be a wise idea to check the major holding cell that houses the remaining hens.... Knuckles, Vinnie and Capon were sitting on the roosts and looking around whistling. Dapper, Lucky and Feathers were all shampooing their feathers trying to ignore me. Bertha was pretending to sleep. It was all very suspicious and therefore I concluded that I came by in the nick of time! I surmise that another 30 minutes they they would have all flown the coop! I checked the cell to make sure it was secure, it was fine.

A review of Sister Spotty's behavior must be conducted before she will be allowed to visit the inmates. Her job was to bring the good news to the inmates... I doubt they were headed to church!

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